Life Transitions Resources. Coping With Divorce, Grief Support, Career Changes, Financial

Jul 26, 2009

Using Life's Lessons

From Margaret Rush, The Springboard Group, Inc.

"Students learn what they care about...," Stanford Ericksen has said, but Goethe knew something else: "In all things we learn only from those we love."

Add to that Emerson's declaration: "the secret of education lies in respecting the pupil", and we have a formula something like this: "Students learn what they care about, from people they care about and who, they know, care about them . . ." Barbara Harrell Carson, 1996, Thirty Years of Stories

Life is a constant learning process, which makes each of us a student.

Lessons can be big, bold and neon-lit, or they can be small, shadowed and barely noticeable until sometime down the path. Transitions are big, bold, neon-lit crash courses in life lessons, and being open to those lessons can make the learning so much easier.

Springboard looks for ways to clear the path, and caring people to teach and guide the student to the most positive outcome.

Sometimes the lessons are easily absorbed, sometimes … not so much. But our valued customers (the students) approach us for lessons, and our added value is to provide the compassion and expertise of professionals. Come learn with us!

Springboard's™ programs and services are designed for you, regardless of where you are in life's journey. We invite you to explore and share our resources with employers, groups, organizations, professionals or anyone supporting others through a transition. Visit us today at http://www.launchingnewlives.com/

Lemons

From Margaret Rush, The Springboard Group, Inc.

You know that old saw? When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
Divorce certainly counts as lemons – large bags of them. It is a major life transition. A highly charged, emotional transition. Going from a we/us relationship to a me/I solo journey. It can be a souring experience. And in the midst of that emotional cloud, we are expected to make some of the most challenging, consequential decisions of our lives. Decisions about finances, now and into the future; decisions about how to care for our children, if we have any; decisions about working, or not…
Because I didn’t have Springboard™ at my disposal at the time of my divorce, my strategy was simply “patience”. Every time my husband submitted a proposal that was unacceptable, my lawyer and I just replaced the offending language with what I could tolerate and sent it back; literally, we cut and pasted the same paragraphs from our original draft into the most recent version submitted by my husband and his attorney. Because I was on a squeaky-tight budget and had spent 20 years in the paralegal field, my lawyer was lenient with me, allowing me to do most of my own drafting and simply reviewing the changes for enforceability. After two years of having exactly the same agreement put back in front of him, two years of paying his own lawyer to review exactly the same document, my husband finally realized that he was going to have to give a little. The Springboard Group would have helped me move the process along rather more expediently.
Visit us and let’s get started on your transition! Our dedicated team at Springboard has the tools, resources and expertise to help you make the best lemonade possible out of that bag of lemons!

Jun 27, 2009

Corolla

Jun 21, 2009

Father's Day Reflections

Each "Hallmark" Holiday creates opportunities to celebrate those we cherish as well as those we miss. These days can also bring to the surface emotions and the opportunity to heal. For me, Father's Day in particular is difficult. I was a child of divorce by age 2, and my father was absent for over 20 years. Even after re-connecting as an adult, I find I have to purposefully remember him for holidays. And, the standard messages of store-bought cards rarely "fit", as they often reflect on memories we do not share, or meaning that does not exist in our relationship no matter the passage of time. So each time I shop for a card for him, I grieve a little for that lost opportunity.

My Grandfather was my father-figure, and then I gained a step-father. Both of these unique men shaped the adult woman I have become. Each contributed uniquely to my self-esteem, confidence, and philosophy of service. My Grandfather died when I was 27, and my Stepfather two years ago. His absence is still palpable, especially on days like this.

Then, as I scan the rack, I see Grandfather cards I no longer buy. I remember buying husband cards and "to Dad from Daughter" cards for my husband. Even though this is the 6th year since his death, I find myself scanning those sections of the display wistfully.

As relationships and people come and go in our lives, the process of shopping for a card to acknowledge those that mean so much to me has become a point of forced acknowledgement of those changes. I miss the simple pleasure of picking out a card for someone I loved; and instead, take a moment to remember.

When I opened the paper this morning, the headline was "Dear Dad". My Mom, my daughter and I will go to church today, and the sermon will most likely address fathers. And all three of us will feel slightly out of place, and out of sync, missing ours. And remembering.

Apr 25, 2009

Thought for today, found on Beliefnet:

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head,
but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.
- Chinese Proverb

This brings to mind a conversation I had this week with a friend, whose sister had the combined losses last year of an unwanted divorce followed by the accidental death of her 19 year old son. My friend lives about 3 hours from her sister; her sister's grief has been tremendous and we were discussing how hard it is to know how to help someone. And that everyone's grief journey is their own to take, in their own way.

In respecting someone's mourning, and their individual ways to work through the process, how do you know when it is not working for them? I would love to hear what you think is the fine line between healthy mourning and realizing a friend or loved one may be in trouble?

Apr 14, 2009

Home For Easter

When children lose a parent, no matter when, it is tremendously sad. At a holiday, especially one that we think of as a special time for children, one that by its very origin means new life, it seems especially cruel. We cannot help but think forward to future holidays that will be forever linked with a painful loss.

And yet, could there be a more meaningful or powerful time of year in the Christian faith for a loved one to die? Can the daily changing landscape of new life remind us of the continuity of life, our lives, our rebirth? Is there a measure of solace to be found in the Easter Story?

This Easter, we know of three small children who lost their Dad. Only forty-four, he had seemed to be healthy, until he died on Thursday. His wife had to plan a funeral for Easter Monday.

Upon reflection, this story is too frequently told in our newspapers and on the evening news; it just really hits home when it is someone you know personally. Such as...

my friend, who was a Dad out for an evening run at age 38; he was found by a neighbor, the week before Christmas. He left a wife with three small daughters.
my friend and former co-worker, a Dad in his forties, at home with his teenaged son, who started CPR to no avail. He left a wife with a teenaged daughter and son.

And now, another friend with whom I worked, who always glowed with stories of his two sons and then their young daughter. The soldier, Boy Scout Leader, active church volunteer, loving husband, responsible employee....and Dad. We hope that his family will find comfort and reassurance in the Easter Story, this year and every year.

We will miss you, Brian.

Getting A Fresh Start on Tax Year 2009!

As we prepare our 2008 taxes to mail by April 15, we cannot ignore the impact of this investment year has had. Although a small minority prospered significantly, most have had sobering news to absorb. Those with positive and open relationships with financial advisors have been reviewing, reassessing, and revising financial plans in light of the last six months.

Here are some Springboard recommendations:

Take time to reflect on any gap you may have in your financial and legal "team". Did you have a coordinated strategy for your investments and tax preparation?
Do you have a system for maintaining key records for 2009, and have you shared that information with those who would need to step in for you in case of illness or emergency? Do not wait!
Review your estate plans, insurance products and investments. For instance, your family needs may warrant not only rebalancing your retirement and investment portfolio, but updating insurance coverage to offset changes in your total financial picture.
Remember to include a review of longterm care and disability insurance if your "cash cushion" is smaller now.

While it is easy to look backwards and wish you knew "then" what we all see plainly now, taking action with what you have learned may be a good remedy for remorse! Wayne Gretsky says it well:

" I skate where the puck is going to be, not where it has been".

Here's to a great start for next year's tax season.